Left in my own Sanity
by ichkak
Summary: My name is Kurosaki Ichigo. My best friends these days are a sledge hammer and a set of bolt cutters. There is no one left at all... Just me. Set 5 years after the start of the winter war - Of which Aizen WON.
1. Setting out my Sanity

My name is Kurosaki Ichigo, I was born on 15th of July and I think I might be 21 years old, but I don't know if I am. Time doesn't mean anything any more, I don't know what day of the week it is or month of the year. I live in my house the 'Kurosaki Clinic' right now, although I have moved around a lot these past years, I always come back here. I feel that I have to write down all that has happened to me before I finally lose my mind. Its been too long since I actually spoke to another living sole, I don't know that I ever will again. They all left, just disappeared one day and I found my self all alone and the only thing to keep me going is my imagination... although I could not tell you if it keeps me going or I have actually become madder than I thought.

My best friends these days are a sledge hammer and a set of bolt cutters.

Wait, there was a noise... I think someone's back home... "Hello is that you?" There is no sound in the house as usual, just my imagination at full throttle. I stumble through the empty hallway, ignorant at the state this place has fallen into these past five years. Beneath my feet the dust sits inches thick, the debris of empty food cans and rotting packets kick away from my feet as I wade through it. I stand at the front door opening it wide and smile into the vacant air. "You're home, that took a while didn't it." I reach out for a hold that always comes and a soft kiss to my lips. Their kisses were always so sweet and loving.

Holding a hand I think is clasped in mine, I take us into the lounge and smile warmly at the pile of unopened food cans sitting on the dining table. "I got us some food while you were out. Are you hungry? Stupid question, you're always hungry." I shake my head laughing and sit to look at the selection of food. "So what do you want? I've got three tins of pineapple, a couple tins of bean sprouts and Oh I know you love this, lets have this one." I pick up a tin of picked spring vegetables and use a can opener. Ignoring the bowls covered in rotting food in the sink, I grab two forks and use one to start to eat looking forlornly at the food I have left.

I know I have to leave the house again, I have to find more food, but I hate that idea. Every time I have to leave, reality comes crashing back again and I'm faced with the corpses and flesh eating mammals that are thriving with the glut of meat they've had these years.

At least they didn't get _them_. At least I managed to _save them_... My eyes pass out the window to the garden and I see the three mounds of earth where my family now rest.

Tears well instantly and I let the can drop to the floor, half it contents spill out and pool into a puddle inside a discarded heap of yellowed newspapers. My hands crash through the glass as I run through the closed glass doors and drop onto the largest of the graves. My sobs are loud and unhindered. There is no one left to hide them from.

There is no one left at all... Just me. Last resident in the whole of Japan and for all I know the world.

* * *

So continue yes or no? Do you want to know what happened to everyone and how Ichigo escaped it? Who is the mystery person he kisses – vote in your reviews and I'll go with the one most requested.

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Disclaimers - see my bio.

Warnings - Not entirely sure yet

Rating - Due to story type, put as M to be safe.


	2. Daily Struggle

I had walked now for twenty minutes and my feet were aching nearly as much as the cuts I'd bandaged on my hands. The streets hadn't changed much since my last journey to find food, at least this time there was a hand in mine. I looked at the figure only I could see – who else would anyway they were all dead? I guess that's what let me fall deeper into my life of imagined friends; there was no one to question why I was talking to an empty patch of air.

A sound disturbed me and I turned abruptly around to see a snarling dog. His teeth were bared in fear that I would rip that femur from his mouth. I shook my head and wondered which of my neighbours the bone had once belonged to and climbed up the rusting gates and clambered on the roof of the house. The dogs couldn't ever get this high. Behind me the sound of snarling grew louder and I stood watching a pack of dogs descend onto the poor mutt I had originally noticed. The glut of meat had died down and now they fed on each other; it really was a dog-eat-dog world now.

"Oh look there's a van. That would be perfect." I said to my imaginary friend and jumped down from the roof. The bolt cutters jangled on my back from the make shift sling I carried it in as if it were my sword and the sledge hammer clonked on the floor as I landed. The first van was unlocked, its occupant a pile of bones and I grimaced as I reached in and yanked the body out. As expected the street was filled with dogs again, all smelling new meat and I quickly hopped inside and let them fight over the figure in a workman's outfit. I turned the key and surprisingly the van started up, at least I wouldn't need to jump start it whilst the dogs were on the prowl.

Only half a tank of petrol. That was fine, I knew the service station was getting low but I could at least fill this beauty up. I looked over my shoulder at the van's contents and chuckled at the sight of plushies and toys. I drove on towards the furthest shopping mall, stopping to fill up the van with juice and then on to food Mecca.

My mind wandered as I drove around the various abandoned vehicles on the roads, through red lights I no longer bothered to stop at and past scattered remains along each pathway.

...

Outside Japan, it had been a year since they'd declared the whole of Japan as a memorial to the dead and left its unexplained apocalypse as a mystery. The rows over who had lead a deadly attack on the country came to unsavoury conclusion that the nation must have fallen foul of its own chemical weapons or natural disaster. No one wanted to risk global wipe out and so protracted, very protracted talks began on the best way to investigate. The United Nations ruled that the place in the meantime would be left in peace as homage to the death of a nation.

Ichigo was hopeless with computers and he never managed to set one up to reach outside to the world. The TV stations were just a black and white snow storm with no one manning the stations and the radio was just a crackle of hiss and interference. No mail and no telephone signals either. He was blind to the world just as it was oblivious to his existence.

...

If only...if only... Why do I let myself fall into this mindset. If only I had ignored Soul Societies pleas and not run into the dangai tunnel alone. If only I had got here before Aizen Sosuke had taken more than enough souls for his new key...

They were gone. All gone. Ishida Uryuu, Keigo Asano, Mizuiro Kojima, Orihime Inoue, Tatsuki Arisawa, Yasutora Sado...even Kisuke Urahara and the Shoten had gone. The entire building had gone as if he had simply packed it into a scroll and headed back home. They were all gone...

I hate being alone, I hate this life... I wipe my tears as they threaten to fall and I finally pull into the last supermarket in town. The last supermarket that I had not yet raided.

My sledgehammer crashed into the door and shattered the lock easily. Bolt cutters removed the bolts to the cold stores out the back and inside I was given over to the wonder of real food again. There was more than enough here to last me for another year.

Inside the supermarket I devoured packet after packet of crisps and chocolate; I hadn't realised how much I missed this sort of food. I hadn't realised how hungry I had become. Eating my full, I slid to the floor unable to walk from my billowing stomach and the pain of over eating. Instead I closed my eyes and let my head rest on the hard flooring. Sleep claimed me.

...

Rukia sat in the sitting room while her brother sat reading a book. The mansion was quiet and servants were busy with their chores. Byakuya looked over the top of his book for the third time and noted she had not stopped biting her lip and wringing her hands.

"Rukia?" His deep voice resonated with his calm and perfect accent.

"Nii-Sama?" She looked up startled from her thoughts as he laid his book beside him.

"What is troubling you?"

"We haven't found him yet." He really should have predicted that answer.

"With the amount of souls that arrived that day, is it any wonder? We have not yet processed half of them."

"But...This is Ichigo... Wouldn't we have noticed him? Wouldn't he have stood out? His father did!"

"Which is why we are best leaving the search to Isshin. He is looking harder than any of us."

"What if..." She stopped mid-sentence to look nervously at her brother.

"He died. There would have been no escape. The Senkaimon was set to open directly next to the clinic. How could he have escaped?"

"Renji and I..." Byakuya's face changed to one of irritation at the mention of that name.

"Renji should know better than to gossip with you. It may well be my divisions responsibility to process them, but he should not be discussing the matter outside the office."

"With Urahara here now, how would Ichigo have got back? I mean what if he arrived too late, what if he is still alive?"

"Enough Rukia. I do not wish you to think on this any more." He picked up his book snapped it closed and swept out the room.

...

"Damn..." I groaned again as my feast spilled from my guts onto the floor. With shaky hands I grabbed an empty packet and looked at the sell by dates. I should have known. I should have known it was all going to be decaying silently in its packets by now. Outside it was dark and I must have slept for some time. Feeling like this, I didn't want to load up the van with the cans and packets that were still safe to eat. I had to find somewhere better to sleep out this self induced stomach bug. Sledgehammer to the rescue as I used it as leverage to get to my feet. I looked down at my stained clothes and the stench of my putrid stomach. I had to find somewhere with clothes too.

Staggering, holding the ache in my lower abdomen I headed out not without caution into the parking lot and climbed into the van. The worst of the dogs came out at night and it wouldn't have been the first time that my bolt cutters shattered the skull of such a dog. Only tonight thankfully I was given grace.

The closest house was only a five minute walk, but there was no way it was safe enough for me to do that. I pulled the van right up to the doors of the house and slid out the back end of the van and sighed with relief when they pushed open. As usual, for every house I entered, there was always the bodies of the owners. I just groaned as my stomach threatened to loose more of its contents and I headed upstairs; I'd deal with the owners and their children tomorrow.

The bathroom was at the top of the stairs and I was grateful for the fact the flush still worked. The yellowed stagnant water slushed away my eliminated indulgence and I washed out my mouth with the help of the crusted wash clothes and lumpy toothpaste.

It was obviously a swanky pad in its day and I was happy to throw my clothes off and then sink into the plush bedding and hide away from reality again. I closed my eyes, smiling at Inoue reaching over to touch her face before I gave in to my condition.

...

I had spent more time in the past night splattering the porcelain of the toilet than actually sleeping. But the bodies down stairs were rubbing against my conscious and I had to deal with them. The winter soil was hard as the weather had taken a turn for the worse over night. It would snow soon. My hands bled against the handle of the spade as I dug the grave, but I was going to do this one small thing for the family that clothed me and offered me a sanctuary for the night. They were only children and I never gave the children to the dogs. Never. Although their bones crumpled apart at my touch, I laid them all the cardboard box I'd found and lowered it into the mud outside. I was absolutely exhausted by now and the sound of dogs barking near by meant they'd smelt something. My bleeding hands maybe.

With haste I covered over the box and ran back into the house, falling against the door as the first dog crashed into it. I looked down at the bright red stains on my bandages and knew the dogs wanted me. Even if I hadn't been ill, I was going to be here for a couple of days until they found another source of food. It would easier if I left my body and used shunpo to get supplies here, but I couldn't risk leaving my body. If the dogs got in, I'd be eaten alive and I would never give them that satisfaction.

I was shaking now, lack of sleep, probably a slight fever and lack of proper food was getting to me. My stomach still ached and my throat was raw from the bile it retched up. I stumbled in the kitchen throwing open cupboard doors and the contents looking for what I needed. At last, tenth cupboard, I found a medicine box and settled it on the worktop. Inside I found a bottle of disinfectant and sealed bandages, this was the jack pot. The water in the tap finally ran slightly clearer and I filled a saucepan. Thankfully the cooker hob lit with the help of some matches and I was able to search for something bland to soften my hunger as the pan boiled.

There were tins and packets of dried foods that would be safe to eat. I found a freezer and sucked on some ice-cubes to sooth my throat. It helped. Pure water another luxury. I hesitated at some frozen bread. Would that be safe or make me worse? Well if I was already ill, I had little to loose in my mind. I pulled off two slices and slid them inside the toaster and crossed my fingers that it worked. So many things these days were getting corroded and failed at my attempts to use them. This house it seemed was manna from heaven everything I needed was here. This was a good house to rest in and collect some things to tide me over.

The water boiled as the toaster popped and I scooped out a cupful. The green tea leaves were something I never had to worry about and I sipped the hot drink letting my mind relax.

The bandages came off easy and I poured the heated water over my cuts hissing at the sting. I should have let it cool a little more but at least with the disinfectant I had done what I could. The fresh bandages eased the pain and I settled in the tidy lounge to eat my now cold toast.

With my stomach calmer I gave in again to my need for sleep and climbed back up the stairs.

"Inoue, call me if you hear anything okay?" I asked leaving her on the sofa. I don't know why I felt reassured with her about. It wasn't as if there was anything more than friendship. Alive or dead she just kept me grounded. Her smile was all I needed even if she never spoke back.

...

Renji looked at Rukia and shook his head. The girl was mad.

"How can I go? You know how much work your brother and I have?"

"Then you need an excuse to take leave." She smiled at him and elbowed him in the ribs. He fell to the floor winded and she looked down at him. "Sorry Renji." He looked on horrifed as her foot rose and then crashed down on his writing hand.


	3. It's all in the timing

The dream crashed around Ichigo's skull it was so vivid and as is it only happened yesterday. _He was there in Soul Society frantically running towards Urahara. The blonde man watched him approach and for once did nothing to hide his face and the pained expression. _

"_Your back. You've even brought the shop. What's going on? They won't let me go home."_

"_Aizen. He's ready."_

"_Ready?" _

"_Ichigo. There is nothing we can do." Byakuya was there beside him, for some reason pleading with him. The face on the noble was for once open as it implored him to understand the futility of his madness. The man was trying to make him see reason he knew that, he knew it. But the hard hitting fact that his family and friends had been left at the mercy of the 'Soul Collection' Aizen was about to start was just too much._

"_No! We have to get them out, we have to warn everyone!" Ichigo tugged on the green scarf. "Byakuya! Help me!" _

"_Its too late Ichigo." Urahara cut in and Ichigo flew to him angrily. _

"_You knew! You knew to get out! Did you warm anyone else? Did you tell my dad?" _

"_Ichigo." Byakuya tried to pull him back off the shop keeper. _

"_NO DON'T PATRONISE ME!" Ichigo spat angrily at the dark haired captain. Once he'd trusted him. He trusted him with his life...no, he couldn't be as heartless as them all and abandon everyone he cared about. He ran and ran towards the closest Senkaimon gate. Numerous Captains tried to restrain him, they tried to hold him back, but he was far too determined. _

"_Let him go." Yamamoto-Genryūsai Shigekuni voice echoed around the white buildings. "Set it to take him home." The old man nodded at Ichigo. "Good luck Kurosaki Ichigo." _

_As soon as his feet hit the floor of the Dangai, Ichigo could hear Byakuya and Rukia screaming not to go alone, to take them too. But his feet ran on. _

"_Ichigo!"_

...

I woke feeling groggy, had I slept at all? I laid there accustomed to waking in strange places by now and looked around me. That dream... damn that dream it always comes... it always comes with the memory that I failed them all. I couldn't protect any of them. When I ran out of the tunnel into a world of total silence I knew I was too late.

Oh when will I stop crying over it? I wiped my eyes on the bandages and try to shake the memories away. I was right next to the clinic and when I ran in... When I ran in... I saw... I saw... Them... My dad was first... His body was so warm... I'd missed them by seconds... Every single member of my family was dead because I failed to protect them. I failed... Yuzu looked as if she had fallen asleep at the table and Karin on the sofa... They looked so peaceful... So comfortable... I buried them, I buried them all before I let myself give in to the despair I was felt. It hurt so much and I screamed and I screamed... I screamed and cried until my body was numb and my mind blank. My own body was there in my bed where Kon had been taken too and I slid into it.

I walked from the house around the town, one friend after another was buried in their garden. Inoue was last... Inoue... So innocent and sweet... Too nice for this world... I found her inside her apartment, she had been in bed and looked as if she was just sleeping... At first I couldn't move her. I couldn't bare to admit that my last friend was gone... I sat beside her, stroking her hair, even shaking her from time to time and telling her to wake up... I sat her up and dressed her... I talked to her endlessly about how I felt and how scared I was... Inoue, my sweet Inoue... You believed there was good in everyone... Two weeks past and the smell become unbearable. The town was littered with flies and the dogs had resorted to eating the bodies where they lie as their hunger began to fester.

I kept Inoue's windows shut and attacked any fly that come inside as if it were a mortal enemy. I couldn't see that she didn't look the same any more. I couldn't see that her lips and fingers had become blackened. I still sat talking to her as if she was still there with me. If I accepted she was dead, I had to accept that I was as good as living in hell. Everything I cherished and cared for meant nothing... So I kept on talking to her. I kept on pretending...

One day I fell asleep. I'd sat on the steps outside with the door open pretending in my mind that I was just waiting for her to wake up and then we'd go and see my dad... But I fell asleep.

I woke... I wish I hadn't... I wish... I wish I couldn't still see it... I wished I couldn't see what they were doing to her... The dogs were there. I wish I could have gouged my eyes out... My rage was fierce and within moments the dogs were dead. They looked worse than her. They deserved it. They deserved me letting go to my Hollow he did what I could not...

I sat holding her, rocking her gently, my heart finally broken beyond repair. My grip on sanity gone... I laid the remains, even her arm that I found later, in a hole in the ground and buried her along with my past life. Everything was gone. Even me now. Even me...

"Stop Ichigo stop!" I screamed at myself I had to stop remembering I had to stop. No, don't do this to yourself, you know you can't do this... I have to get out again... I have to get away...

I scrub at my hair and look around for anything that will make me forget those memories. This bed had the perfect view of the snow falling outside and even feeling as weak as I did, I stumbled over with the bedding wrapped around me to see the view. In all my time alone I had never witnessed anything as beautiful. I wasn't sure how long I had stood there looking out lost in the beauty of it, but eventually I wanted to share it. Share the view.

"Inoue come see." I turned and looked to the bed but it was empty of the beautiful girl and instead my eyes saw...

"Byakuya?" I turn and stumble literally to the floor. "Is it...is it you?" I scrambled my way on my knees to the bed and looked into his beautiful eyes. "You came for me?" I whispered my voice so scared of finding out this was not real... Please be here... Please don't torture me... I reach out scared that if I touch him, he'd disappear... Scared... I have to touch him... I have to... My hand reaches forth and I can almost feel his peach soft skin under my fingers I can feel him!

Suddenly I blink away my madness as pain rushes up my arm and I scream out in agony. I look at the black dog growling at me his teeth clenched onto my wrist. This beast dared to take away my dreams and I couldn't allow that. I wasn't going to become his pet food. I pushed my arm deeper into his mouth gagging him so hard he whined and opened his mouth. My other fist hit him like a steel bar and I watched him fly across the room.

'Hichigo!' I screamed as I stumbled onto unsteady legs and dashed for the stairs. More barks echoed from the rooms down stairs and I flew towards the front door as my hollow stole my mind and instinct took over. My bleeding hand grabbed my sledgehammer and bolt cutters where I had left them and I turned just as one huge dog leapt for my neck. The bolt cutters shattered his skull and the sledgehammer broke the front legs of the next. My arms flew around my body, throwing fatal blows at all the canines left. When he released me, I looked at the damage my hollow had done. Blood splattered up the walls and over the floor. Seven dogs in total lay around me. My new clothes were stained and my arm bled profusely. But I was alive and they hadn't got to eat me for another day.

Thankfully there was still come boiled water from last night and I mixed up an overdose of disinfectant. My dad would have said I needed stitches, but I couldn't do that one handed on myself so I did the best I could with the last of the medical supplies this house held and swathed my arm in tight bandages. I felt cold as the winter chill entered the house and shivered as my blood loss become noticeable. I ate a quick mouthful of toast before I changed yet again and when I found an overnight bag, I stuffed it full of clothing.

Content that I had stripped the house of everything I could; I next dumped the soft toys and plushies from the back of the van and threw my newly acquired sleeping bag, blankets and pillows in the back. I headed back to the supermarket and piled the van high with cans, batteries, torches, bottled drinks, packets of food and boiled sweets. I cleared the shelves of their medical supplies and headed back home.

The snow was getting worse now and with out the heating working I knew I'd need to leave this town for a while again. Heading south was the best bet, it was always much warmer there.

At home I injected a tetanus jab into my arm. Upstairs I looked at the stranger in the mirror and shaved away the weeks growth on my chin and took the scissors to my hair that had grown past my shoulders. I felt only slightly better for the image looking again like me. If I could ignore the pale colour of my skin, the way my cheeks hollowed in from my recent starvation, the bags and dark circles under my eyes, I might look even closer to the me I knew. But that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

...

Byakuya stood in the labs of the 12th and tried to remain impassive to the revolting captain he was trying to appease.

"...what you are implying is that I might have information that would prove if the substitute shinigami is still alive?"

"I am wondering if you recorded the time of the gate opening and the time of the Soul Collection. If there was even a second delay after the collection, he may well still be alive."

"SO you want information?"

"I am not making accusations."

"Indeed..." The smirk Kurotsuchi Mayuri gave Byakuya was not pretty. "Your guilt getting to you again?"

"What would you have me do? Beg?" Byakuya stole himself and looked at the vile yellow eyes. "Kurotsuchi Taicho, would you look for me. _Please_."

"That might do." The man said grinning in his sadistic way and turning to his computer. His fingers tapped away and he let out a cry to indicate he had found the records. "Well, it seems that Soul Society may have saved the life of one Japanese nationalist after all."

...

Rukia and Renji crept towards the gates in the mansion gardens. They were going to need a distraction to get past the Kuchiki family guards but nothing would deter them for leaving tonight.

"Come out Rukia, Renji." Byakuya's tone cut across the cold winter garden.

"Nii-Sama. We were just out for a walk." Rukia smiled sweetly at her brother as they climbed like naughty children out of the bushes.

"Then you will not mind some company." The noble spoke and the two friends shared a moment of disappointment.


	4. Scared

_**Okay just a reminder here – Bold Italic mean Hichigo. When the Hollow is in control the narration is bold is his.**_

The narration slips between Ichigo and Hichigo during the latter part of this chapter. Kleenex Warnings apply – I needed several writing this today.

* * *

There is no need to wait, I can set my own timetable. I pushed everything off the kitchen worktop and open the map I'd found. "Shit, this is way to big." I say finding it hard to keep the whole thing open to see. I take the edge and rip along the seams only keeping the bit I wanted.

I let out a curse as I wobble on my tired legs and I grip the worktop to stop myself falling over. I did notice the red seeping through my bandages, that dog did a good damn number on my wrist. I should probably rest before going, give it chance to heal a bit. But then this map...its a long way.

Well I won't use my arm a lot driving and I can always stop after an hour or so and rest. "Nah, fuck it, I'm going." After this run of bad luck I hope a chance in scenery might change my luck too.

I throw down four painkillers and swallow them dry before one last look...I step over the broken glass that let snow into the house and bent down at the side of the snow covered mounds showing where my family lay.

"I'll come back when the weather gets warmer. Love ya all." I place both by palms down closing my eyes trying to stem back the tears of loss I feel again. If my mother left a void as large as she did, losing the idiotic man that was my dad and the twins left a vast crater too. Loneliness had been the hardest thing to deal with left here. It would have been so much simpler to have broken into that gun shop and just ended it. But I couldn't. What was the point? I'd get there soon enough. I had to figure out how to stop those dogs first. My worst fear was the dogs. I did not want to be eaten, dead or not, I DID not want to be eaten.

_**Ichigo? **_Hichigo called me as I sat watching the red drip slowly from my arm into the white snow beneath my palms. It was fascinating...morbid but fascinating.

"I know. I'm moving." I push myself to my feet and walk dripping a trail towards the front of the house. I'll grab more bandages and wrap my wrist tighter first.

_**You need to warm up a bit. A sleep wouldn't hurt. Just an hour, I'll wake you.**_

"You didn't warn me about the dogs. Why should I listen to you?" I stand at the van door pondering his idea, God damn it, can't I even think straight now?

_**I was watching the snow...It really is beautiful.**_

"Yeah." I stood feeling like I had to get this off my chest. It felt important to get this clear now before I set off. "Promise me something."

_**If I can.**_

I wince at a flash of Inoue's armless body with gaping wounds in her torso and cheek. "Don't ever let the dogs eat me."

_**Its way too much beating the shit out of them for that! I got ya back you know that. **_

...

"You have to get rid of him!" Renji hissed under his breath as they followed Byakuya through the gardens.

"How do I do that?!" She hissed back jabbing him with her elbow.

"What supplies do you have ready?" Byakuya was tired of pretending he could not hear them. "I have asked Isshin to bring the medical items we may require. Kurotsuchi has lent communication devices for us all and I have prepared some maps so that we may search the area methodically."

"Your coming with us?" Renji's suprise fell from his mouth.

"Is that a surprise?" He turned and looked at them.

"Nii-Sama? You never told me what went on between you too." Rukia dared to ask her brother.

"He left. Anything else is rather pointless now." What point was there in old thoughts and feelings? He couldn't let himself get his hopes too high that Ichigo had survived somehow. _If he still felt anything for me, surely he would have returned?_

"But if..." Renji went on mouth ahead of brain as usual and Byakuya cut him short.

"Right now, my mission is helping a father find his son." He finished his sentence as they stepped into the lit small courtyard that their private Kuchiki Senkaimon stood waiting for them. Isshin was striding anxiously up and down the pathways waiting, a back pack ready on his back and his now greying hair testament to his last years of worry.

...

I found the snow easy to drive on, as it was relatively fresh and unspoilt, the tyres ploughed easily onwards. The townscape turned quickly into flat white fields and pretty white statues of trees and hedges. I admired the scenes and enjoyed the feeling of warmth begin to float around the cab as the heater blasted out.

This change was good. I knew I had made the right decision, it had been too long since I left the town. Somehow seeing the abandoned cars and bodies of strangers was easier to deal with than those back home. At home I was always left with thoughts of, if I have ever spoken to them before, or if my dad had ever treated them. The further I drove from the town the less bodily remains I saw. Remote areas were the most peaceful where I found even less bodies left behind. The wildlife had stripped most smaller villages clean before moving on for their next meal.

Had I not been feeling so ill, I would have stopped at the buildings giving in to my curiosity at what was in inside. I'd seen inside more museums and grand mansions in the past five years than I did in the entire rest of my life. Tonight I knew however, that if I stopped, I wouldn't have the energy to get back to my journey. I was reliant on the heat in the van, the puddle of blood at my feet was not going to enter my concious. I was not going to worry that I hadn't stopped bleeding.

..

The light was fading fast as the group looked around the old Kurosaki home. Byakuya was in the clinic, Isshin upstairs, Rukia and Renji were downstairs.

"You idiot Renji. There is dust UNDER the cans, there is no mould on the can on the floor and the blood on these windows is too fresh a colour. Outside, who do you think buried the bodies? Three bodies?"

"There's more blood outside." Renji frowned making his way out to the mounds. "This is fresh." He said touching the red stain. It was still too red, preserved by the snow where as the blood on the doors had browned.

"How do we know its his?" Rukia asked.

"I'd say these were his hand prints wouldn't you?" He looked over his shoulder at Rukia leaning over him to look down.

"He's hurt his right hand or arm then."

"Yeah and there's a trail." He pointed towards the side gate out the garden.

"He's been here!" Isshin came running down the stairs clutching the strands of red hair Ichigo had cut off.

"And he's injured." Renji pointed to the blood trail.

"He's alive... On my god he's alive!"

"Considering we are all dead, I don't know that's such a great thing!" Renji said scratching his neck.

"Isshin?" Byakuya came through with the debris he found in the surgery. "What is this?"

"Tetnus...empty bandage packets. He's tried to treat himself at least. All we need now is to know where he is."

"We could follow that trail first." Renji suggested. Withouth saying a word further, they all found themselves at the road where the trail stopped at the tyre marks.

"He's mobile. That means he could be quite a distance." Renji noted aloud. Rukia shook her head. That damn boy always gave her a headache. Couldn't he just sit tight and wait for them?

"There was a map in the kitchen." Rukia said dipping back into the house.

They all stood in the kitchen looking at the map when they heard a sound in the garden. Byakuya turned with speed sword in hand to investigate and looked down at the growling dog baring its teeth at the blood in the snow.

"I think I know how he was injured." He said returning to the team studying the map.

...

_**Ichigo!**_

I jolted awake as the tyres of the van veered way too close to the edge of the road and a stationary car. The first one I'd seen for miles. I shook my head and slapped my face hard. Wake up Ichigo, wake up.

_**You need to rest. How long do you plan to drive for? This is suicide. Just pull over and sleep!**_

"I'll be all right when I get south."

_**You'll be dead by then at this rate. You haven't eaten anything and you've lost too much blood. Pull over you need to rest...Ichigo! **_

I swerved again. God that damn Hollow he was right. My eyes looked out into the almost darkness and I struggle to keep them open. I see something. Just a silhouette, but its a farm house and that meant somewhere more comfortable than the van. Before I get chance to think where the drive might be, the steering wheel jars in my hands as we hit something hidden in the snow. I scream in pain as it jars my wrist and we bump none to prettily off the road and into a tree. My head and chest slammed forward into the dashboard and I curse my poor luck. It was as if the fates didn't want me to go any further. More blood slides down from my brow and I can only sit there too damn fucking beyond it to care now. I should just sit here and let my bones turn to ice and slip away into oblivion. Did Shinigami even prowl these area's to give me a soul burial? Nah it would be just my luck to be left on this godforsaken place as a soul for eternity. If I get reborn again, I won't be Japanese will I? Would I still have red hair and end up with the people I love? What happened to them?

Inoue? Are you here? I look around the cab and just see her shredded arm. I scream and frantically fight my way from the cab falling into the snow with a thud on my backside.

_**Hey? Finished freaking out yet?**_

"Hichigo? Get me to the farm house...please...I don't think I can do it." It was all too hard now, just too hard.

_**Why'd you only call on me when your sorry ass needs saving? **_

"Please." The cold was biting into me again and I began shivering as I felt my legs working without my control. I didn't phase out but just watched as a bystander as Hichigo grabbed some supplies from the van and began wading through the thigh deep snow.

_**I always have to save his dumb ass from near death. Its even colder out here than it is in there with that never ending rain. I walk on wading his legs through this freezing snow for once in my life however getting really scared. He's been bad before, near death before...but this cold isn't even making him shiver now. I can feel death seeping up on him quicker than it ever had. If that dog hadn't got the better of his stupid hallucinations then he would have got over that stomach bug. As it is, I can't feel anything left in reserve now and even I'm struggling with getting his body to do what I want. **_

_**I get him to the house he doesn't even know or care that he's not getting control back. Is he that far gone? I should feel guilty that I didn't notice that dog too, but...I never knew that guilt would feel like this. I never knew how much 'I' want him to live. Stupid kid. **_

_**Like most places we go they're not locked. The old habitants never had chance and what would be the point? I open the door to this old place and smell some animal already...not dogs though, he'd freak again at that...I make my way into the lounge feeling the energy really sapping out him so much so I can feel myself getting light headed. The trail of blood is following me. I see a sofa and sit Ichigo down, my hands don't want to cooperate as I try and unzip the bag I carried. I pull out a can opener and a tin of sweet looking cherries, I figured the sugar would do him good. I put the can opener on the top of the tin trying to open the can, but the stupid can opener slips off again and again until I throw it in anger across the room. THIS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE! I rummage again and find a packet. Just some sweets, but its got to be better than nothing. The packet gives way to my anger and shreds under the force, throwing the sweets everywhere. I scramble on the floor and shove a handful into Ichigo's mouth. Tiredness creeps even further in and its the tiredness that I'd fought all these to avoid. Death. Come on sweets, digest a bit. Just let him have some energy to scare it away...I can't help it, I lay down on the sofa and pull his knees up to his chest. **_

_**I see movement in the corner of the room, but the darkness almost shadows it out. Sadly he sees it too.**_

"Is it a dog?"_** His quiet voice sounds scared to me. **_

"_**It would have attacked us."**_

"Make it go away."

"_**Wait...Its a cat." We watch the creature slink slowly towards us, its a living thing that doesn't want to eat us and that's a relief. A living thing that rubs against my outstretched hand and lets me stroke it. I can hear it purr loudly and feel Ichigo smile. God he smiled... I slide the control back to him for that, he deserves it. **_

"Hichigo. Don't leave me." I watched the black cat rub against my hand that won't move anymore. Neither of us can make it move now. We're just too far gone.

"_**I won't."**_

The cat jumps on the sofa and snuggles up close its purring is so loud and I felt an insane kind of euphoria that someone is pleased to see me. But my eyes begin to close... So tired...

"Hichigo?" I want him here, I want someone here with me. Fear is something I do these days and today it feels really bad. That cat at least feels warm against my chest.

_**Still here.**_

"She's dead isn't she?"

_**Who? Inoue? **_I nod. _**Yeah.**_

"Am I dying too?" The cat licks my face at the blood and seems to look at my arm... I watch it curious as it looks at my face and drops it's head. Carefully it nuzzles my cheek and slides in closer to me as if trying to prove that it wants to be here with me, that I'm not as alone as I feel.

_**Do you want to? **_

"I've had enough now."

_**You didn't want to go back to the bastards in Soul Society.**_

"Didn't I? I don't remember that."

_**No. They let everyone die remember?**_

"I'm so cold."

_**I can take you to Hueco Mundo instead? **_

"But...No. Not there... Don't let the dogs get me." I'm crying and I can't stop. "I wish I could just see them one last time."

_**Who?**_

"Inoue, my sisters..." So tired... "Yuzu, Karin..." So cold... "Byakuya..." So so tired... "My Dad."

_**Ichigo! I scream into the darkness. There's darkness inside too now. Darkness creeping in on us too quickly. " Ichi, there's someone here! Wake up!" I scream aloud yet his eyes close and I feel that loneliness creep in. I'm scared. "ICHIGO!" **_

"Let me sleep." _**His eyes opened slightly.**_

"_**ICHIGO!" I scream again and his eyes blink... I thrust control back as quick as I can. **_

"Dad?" I look at the face staring down at me. Am I really seeing him? I cry again. I can't even reach out now, my body won't move at all.

"Ichigo." _**Isshin stroked Ichigo's hair and knew he'd found him too late. One look and he knew it.**_

"I wish you were real." _**Ichigo whispered his energy fading. **_

_**His eyes close and control comes to me whether I wanted it or not. **__**There isn't anyone else to take it. **_

_**I open his eyes and his dad looks at me and knows. My voice is so different from Ichigo's and yet his dad still stays stroking our orange hair. "He's gone." I say. Isshin nods and lets his tears fall. "He didn't want to be alone any more." My voice breaks and I see the others move into my line of sight. "You were all too late."**_

"Where is his soul?" _**Rukia and her damn coldness. The bitch. Who does she think I am? **_

"_**He's tired. Dead tired...YOU BASTARDS." I swear out my anger and suddenly I'm crying too. "Please don't leave him here, take his body. He didn't want the dogs to get his body." My voice breaks and there isn't any energy left inside this blood and flesh vessel any more, I can't hold out any longer. **_

_**My eyes close and the tiredness makes me lay beside Ichigo. **_

_**I pull him into my arms and we sleep together. **_


	5. SS Changes

Kurosaki Ichigo lay limply in his father arms, his body was cold and heavy now. Isshin entered the Kuchiki gardens to see the face of Uryuu drop.

"He's dead?"

Isshin fell to his knees and pulled the body of the child he had given life to as close as he could. His huge sobs echoed through out the gardens.

Uryuu watched the others step into the garden from the gateway and look gloomily at the father.

"Isshin." Byakuya was the first to move bending next to the father. "Your daughters." How right was it that Byakuya was the one to make the grieving man think of his family. The man whose life was more directed by family than any others knew that Isshin could not afford this waste of emotion just yet. Even grief had to wait until the right moment, no matter how much they cut you inside, one had to rise above it and store that energy until later when alone.

Right now the girls were unaware of their fathers escape back to the real world. They needed to know the facts from their father, not anyone else. So holding the fathers arm, Byakuya led him towards the large mansion, only Uryuu saw the glimmer of moist liquid in the nobles eyes.

...

The body if Kurosaki Ichigo was laid in state in the small apartment bequeathed to the family by the Gotei 13. His body lay in the middle of the one room that was both lounge and bedroom. The large cupboards hid the folded futons, kitchenette and clothing behind sliding bamboo doors. The family were lucky by anyone's standards. They had not had to fight their way around Rangoli with the millions that had arrived all at once that fateful day 5 years ago. They were a valuable family and treated as such. Food was in short supply now and heavily rationed, but those in Seireitei were blessed with larger portions due to their duty for Soul Society. The girls were attending the academy and Isshin given a Captain's position to fill the shortfall. His bulk was a familiar sight in the midst of the civilians as he policed the Rangoli regions and hoping fair play would keep everyone alive. He treated the injured as he found them and pushed orphaned children into the arms of adults who were lucky enough to have a house. His squad walked the streets and keep what peace they could or took the bodies when they couldn't. The place was far from heaven and Aizen's stupid war was forgotten. His plans to deluge Soul Society to breaking point had worked. They'd broken.

Isshin and his girls sat quietly just watching the motionless chilled body endlessly. People came and went, nodded their respects and left them in peace. Days went by.

...

Byakuya tended to his duties with a heavy heart. He sat at the table for the captains meeting, this change had gone on for a few years and they were all used to sitting drinking tea now during the meetings. Byakuya rose his eyes to the sotaicho and was not surprised to find the brown eyes smiling back at him.

"You are troubled." Sotaicho Aizen Sosuke spoke.

"Not any more than usual I trust?" Uryuu sat with his captains robes looking natural on him now and Byakuya wondered by the knowing look in the younger man's eyes. A confidence fluttered about him these days probably due to his Lieutenant being non other than his own father. A bitter-sweet victory on the boys part. "Recent events seen to have made you even more introverted if ever that was possible."

"Ah, now that is a matter I wished to discuss." Aizen glanced at the empty seat of Isshin. "Kurosaki Ichigo..."

...

Hichigo had woken some time ago, but he was content to let Ichigo rest more. Even in this transient state Ichigo seemed small and wasted to him. His body ached to stretch out from the darkness they were lain in and his mind wanted to know where they were but he would be patient for once in his life and let his King lead him. As an observer all these years, he had been more than amazed at Ichigo's resolve and fighting spirit to survive the ordeal he had endured. If their roles had been reversed the Hollow would have given up to the hopeless situation a long time ago and raided that gun shop for a quick sweet release. Ichigo didn't though. He held on. He used his boundless respect for his loved ones to bury them in turn, to show consideration to dead bodies who hosted him for the night even though they would know nothing of his efforts.

Hichigo learnt humility these past five years and it had been a very sobering experience.

The way Ichigo had valiantly protected everyone before suddenly didn't seen as pointless and weak as he'd once viewed it. He'd seen courage, strength and purpose in spades.

Instead of fighting Hollows they'd fought against the once domestic beasts that turned back to base instinct in their fight to survive. They'd fought against starvation, cold and injury. They'd fought against loneliness, destruction and desolation.

Together they'd found mutual respect and co-operation; and more than a modicum of friendship.

...

Isshin looked up as his daughters stepped into the room.

"Why you in the dark Tousan?" Yuzu knelt down beside him.

"I didn't realise it had got dark." He replied putting an arm around each of his girls who sat either side of him.

"We can't keep his body here much longer." Karin ever the practical one spoke.

"Just a little longer." Isshin whispered. "Give him a chance."

The family fell into a quiet vigil. A quiet knock behind them signalled the arrival of Uryuu.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" His ever polite voice spoke and he sat at the nod from Isshin. "I thought I felt something earlier, I wondered if there was a change, but...apparently not."

Isshin reached a hand forward and stroked his son's cold brow. His pallor was quite unappealing now and he sighed as he picked up the edge of the sheet and finally covered up Ichigo's face.

The simple act seemed to be a catalyst for the girls grief and Yuzu leaned into her father openly sobbing. Karin, ducked her head and tried vainly to hide her tears.

"Err Mr Kurosaki?" Uryuu registered the stronger energy that clearly belonged to no one else but Ichigo. All eyes turned to Ishida who was staring at the shrouded body. "Something is happening."

Sure enough the body began to glow with a feeble glow of white power. It was no where near his usual strength and easily missed if the visual struggle was not obvious. "I think he's having trouble." Ishida knelt closer. "Ichigo!" He called out. Isshin gasped as a ghostly hand slid through the sheet. The fingers were clawed and trembling with the effort, and Isshin wasted no time reacting. He grabbed the raised hand and tugged the spiritual body away from the flesh bound one.

A groaning Ichigo fell into his fathers chest sweating and panting from his efforts. Isshin smiled widely and wrapped his arms so tight around Ichigo pulling him across his lap. "My son! Oh Masaki, I've got him back!" It wasn't the goofy tone he used instead it was one of intense relief and tears fell down his face as he looked down as his first born's disbelieving face.

"Dad?" Ichigo whispered too scared to believe it. "You were there? You were really there!"

"I was. I was there." Isshin grinned.

"I buried you... I buried you all." Ichigo looked at his sisters who had thrown themselves into a family hug. "I buried you all." He sobbed.


	6. Home

I guess I surprised a few of you last time with Aizen's appearance! It did feel rather sneaky to add him, but it felt sooo good! Anyhow I fully intend this to be the last chapter. I don't _think _there is anything that I have omitted, hey but my one brain cell is a little frayed at this time of year!

Okay just a reminder here – _**Bold Italic**_ mean Hichigo speech. Anything on Hichigo's behalf will be in bold. If there are no speech marks then he's just talking to Ichigo in his head. If there are speech marks he's talking out loud to Ichigo or who ever is in the room. Normal Italics mean Ichigo is thinking or talking to Hichigo inside his head.

* * *

_What the hell is going on? This place seems so different. Hichigo?_

_**Different ain't meaning bad thought is it? Look at this now you've got company!**_

I listened to my hollow laugh as I look around at the civilians in this squalid room that looked more like something outside Seireitei rather than within the stone walls. Why on earth I am here I have no idea. One moment I was in my dad's arms the next I was here. He said it was the 4th, well if it is, it suffered a lot from the war. The bed I'd found myself in was rock hard and lacked any comforts of any description. The room was crowded with three other beds and patients with various wounds. I'd been fed a ton of drugs and told to rest. _Well I could have done that at home couldn't I? _

**_Ichigo? _I'd lost him in his thoughts again. But felt his attention return to me after I called. **

_What am I doing here?_

**_Don't you remember from all that time ago? Any injuries you sustain in either body, transfers. So right now you're as weak as a kitten and still suffering from the damage the dog did to your arm._ I watch as he lifts his arm and he looks at the neatly dressed limb. **

_It still hurts like fuck._

_**I guess those grubby little canines were rather sharp.**_

_All that practice on rotting bones._ I shivered at that thought and huddled down into the covers to hide from the people in here. After all this time being alone, suddenly I wanted that back. Being this close to strangers just seemed weird and not too comfortable.

_**What happens to us now? I ain't just going back to being ignored by you all the time. I don't wanna be a horse of no use and I kinda like the fact that... well you know.**_

_I know. I guess I should thank you really. Without you..._

**_That's my job aint it. Don't go getting all sentimental on me._ I notice him shiver again. _Ya okay?_**

_I feel like shit. Where's my dad? _

"**_Unless you aint noticed I'm kinda stuck with you so I don't frigging know do I!_" I curbed my anger as the mask formed on his face and I realised I'd shouted that out. The other inhabitants of the room cowered at the sight of a mad Hollow screaming at random. I remove the mask as I shove the control back at him and huffed. _Don't make me do that again. Its your __body, you deal with it_. We settled into an uneasy silence and with Ichigo flipping from one side to another trying to get comfortable. **

It didn't matter which way I laid my arm was throbbing and tiredness couldn't over come that feeling. The fact that I could feel Hichigo brooding over our argument didn't help me relax one bit. I wanted out of here I really wanted out. The door to this room began to open and I wished that it was my dad to come and get me. Instead my eyes bugged out my head at the sight of the two people entering the room. Hichigo must have felt the rise in panic in my chest as I threw myself up and back away from the figure walking across the room smiling at me.

**_What the hell is up with you. Oh fuck not good._ I certainly would never have dreamed that the priss would have turned traitor. Byakuya walked calmly beside the man and if Ichigo hadn't refused my leap, I would have been wearing the mask and trying to rip him to shreds right now. **

"Aizen!" The hate seeped off my tongue and I back away as far as the wall allowed me. I could not believe what I was seeing and my confusion must have shown in my face.

"Ichigo. I was so relieved when we found you." Byakuya had stepped forward with his hand reaching out for me. I shuffled away further into the corner and glared at him.

"What's he doing here?" I spat out. Byakuya looked at Aizen and turned back to me.

"He is the Sotaicho." I tried not to cough up the contents of my meagre lunch with that statement. It was more likely that Byakuya was the King of stand up comedy than that be the truth.

"But the old man?"

"Dead. Ichigo, obviously you've missed a lot of what has happened here. There isn't a war any more, hasn't been for a long time. Aizen won."

"And that makes you a traitorous bastard." I seethed and pulled the mask over my face to let Hichigo go.

**The mask formed and I leapt for the traitor, intent to let my displeasure be known. The utter betrayal of Byakuya made my blood boil and I wanted nothing more than to rip his head from his body, even if I have no use of Zangetsu in this weakened state. I'd damn well try what ever I could, just as I had this past five years. I knew just as Ichigo knew that neither of us were in a fit state to take them on. As it was Ichigo's legs just buckled underneath me and to add to our humiliation, we were caught in the arms of the power mad bastard. His infuriating grin just looked down at me making me reach up and claw at his face. **

**Byakuya pinned my arms behind me and screaming like a banshee I tried in vain for release. The two men hauled me back on the bed and I looked at them panting through my anger and obvious lack of energy. "You bastards let go!" **

"Release Ichigo." **Aizen asked, no ordered calmly but still held on tight to my shoulders. **

"**He aint a fucking prisoner." I snapped back. "He can hear ya." **

"I do not want to talk with the whipping boy. I want to talk to Ichigo." Aizen tried and obviously had no idea that I had control back. But Byakuya did.

"Ichigo. It is not as you think." His steely coloured eyes looked into mine and I felt myself relaxing slightly. Relax or wear out I wasn't too sure, but it seemed enough for these men to let me go. I was still panting and now my arm hurt even worse. I clung it to my chest and all but growled at Aizen as he lifted it from my body and threw a healing light over it.

"I don't want your fucking help." I sneered and yanked my arm back, ignoring the pain that it caused.

"It seems I am unwelcome." Aizen looked to Byakuya and I watched them nod at each other. "Report back to me. Get well soon Ichigo." The bastard dared to say and I let the fury in my face know I wanted him to rot in hell. Looking back at Byakuya I felt that same feeling for him too. How could he do that? A man of so many principles and yet here he was cavorting with the sworn enemy and obeying his orders.

"You all fucking obey him do you?" I observed that he looked uncomfortable as he nodded and I felt he deserved all the discomfort in the world. "You make me sick. Leave me alone."

"I would like to explain."

"I don't want to fucking hear it. No wonder this place looks ready to crumble. How could you do it? How could you just let him walk in and take over the place? I thought you would rather die that have that happen."

"That was before."

"Before what?"

"For starters Ichigo. This is the civilian quarter of the hospital facility. If you recall there was no such thing in Yamamoto's reign. We did provide them with a building of the same standard as the Gotei 13 used, but they were intimidated by it. We found that they preferred something they felt they deserved. Hence this was built by a civilian group to the standards they wanted. At this point you are a civilian."

"Better that than a traitor!" I spat angrily at him and he sighed. I watched him sit on the side of the bed and I was too tired to resist his grip on my hands with more than a light tug.

"No one is a traitor. The Central 46 was originally set up to allow for fair play for all inhabitants of Soul Society. But over the centuries it became obvious that it was not happening. Various judgements were allowed that shouldn't have been, Kisuke for one. Aizen killed all the 46 and therefore all the corruption should have ceased, but... The old sotaicho was biased, blind and unjust in some of his own rulings. Many of us were unhappy with his judgements but powerless to do much about it. Aizen used the King's Key to contact the King and alert him of the many irregularities in the governing of our world. He never had any intention of over throwing his Highness."

"But he killed everyone!"

"Death on Earth means life here. The ones that were required to make the key were the first to arrive here. Their souls were not locked in the substance of the key, but used as a battery if you will, to be able to produce it. That many souls arriving was a draw on our resources, especially after the loses we had suffered during the fight for Karakura and we barely coped. The millions of souls arrived shortly after just ruined our organisation and we were over powered and short on supplies. Aizen arrived with the King, he easily over threw Yamamoto and was appointed his replacement. This was all part of his plan, as was preparing for such a volume of people. Hollows arrived, Arrancar and Espada alike, bringing food, shelters and clothing. Quickly he had set up a chain of command using the remaining captains like myself to organise distribution and recording the names of every citizen of Soul Society. We now have methods that reunite blood families, policing of the outer districts and gainful use of all members of society. The Gotei 13 now serves the people as it should and the community at large is lead with the ethos that every member must work to support the community. Everyone has a right to a decent life here and everyone is expected to work towards that goal. Crime and violence outside the gates of Seireitei has decreased to almost single digit figures. Those that choose to break the rules are taken before Tousan who is now heading the Central 46 and put on trial. The 46 itself is manned by Shinigami, civilians and the nobles. The group must reach a decision together. It is a far better world we now live in."

I was tired and overwhelmed from all of this information. I let him go on further and listening to him he did seem a convert of the new ways. "Many of your friends have quickly taken up roles; Taicho Yasutora Sado works alongside Tatsuki Arisawa Fukutaichou for the fifth and are in charge of communications."

"Chad is a Taicho?" I ask in disbelief.

"That is not all of it. Abarai and I work as we did before we work within the outer districts recording and collating personal data and ensuring the families stay together. Your father works hard to locate homes for them all. The ninth is now led by Ishida Taicho and Ishida Fukutaichou."

"Uryuu works under his dad?" Byakuya almost smiled at my expression of utter disbelief.

"No. Uryuu is Taicho." I just shake my head at that one as it being purely made up drivel surely. This has to be some sick dream now I am sure of it. "They work to enforce Hollow behaviour and locate the strays that break the treaty agreement. It is said that Stark and Ulquiorra are regular visitors to the ninth barracks. Although they are not the only Espada that we see frequently. Neliel Tu Oderschvank seems to be a permanent resident of the eleventh which suits us as Yachiru now has a friend to play with. In the evenings it seems that is beneficial to Kenpachi too when Nel reverts to her adult form." Byakuya smiled and I looked at him in wonder. He was smiling freely. I grip his hands a little tighter and he looks at me from his fixed stare at the wall. with my anger subdued, i'm left remembering why I loved this man so much.

"And I have worried these past years. Worried that I failed you." It seemed he still loved me too.

The door burst open and in fretted Inoue and my mouth flew into a very uncharacteristic smile. Everything was right now, with her predictable sobs in my arms, I felt at home again.

...

Aizen stood in his office, in the highest tower looking out at all he commanded no doubt with an air of smuggness that had myhackles raised before I'd even knocked on the door. Things had changed a lot from those early days when I came charging into Soul Society like a bull in a china shop. But my unease with Aizen had settled to low nagging hum even though Byakuya's near constant presence in my life over the past month, had worked to change that. What I could see, even from my friends, was that they actually liked the guy. But they hadn't gone thorough the ordeal I had and I'd been the only one it seems to have suffered any personal loss because of his actions. The pain of losing my family and burying their bodies was a pain that was hard to shake off.

"Enter." His smooth voice called through the door and he was turned to watch me wearily enter with that same self satisfied smile on his face and an air of confidence that just stank of arrogance to me. "You seemed nicely recovered now?" His gaze looked me over like appraising cattle at the market.

"Hn." I deemed the only fitting response to give.

"I hear that Byakuya has moved you into his home." He glances at the tea arriving and moves to his desk where the pot and cups have been placed. He sits and begins to pour two cups. "Tea?" Yeah like do I have a choice? I move towards the chair sitting opposite him and sit at the gesture of his hand. He pushed the cup towards me and its too hot for my liking so I ignore it for now. "Byakuya is rubbing off on you. An unlikely pairing I must admit." He smiled, sips his tea and looks at me with a contemplative expression. "We have all been discussing you at our Captains meetings." That is news to me and I must have lessened the scowl on my face as he smiled amused by my reaction. "What do you think we have been saying?"

"Byakuya says that I have to be a use here somehow."

"Indeed. It seems that there are those that want you..." Yeah I can figure that, Kenpachi had been pointing at me and grinning like mad so I figured he'd be one of those. "...and there are those that think you are a loose cannon they would rather not have." Again its easy to imagine the Ishida's with that line of thought. "But you are still a visard and unlike my predecessor, I have no qualms about their abilities."

"Well you wouldn't would you. You created them."

"Indeed." He put down his cup and looked at me seriously. "However, with such a deluge in souls, we have very little positions available. I am thinking that the Gotei 13 would benefit from your strength, but that strength itself comes from another source." He tipped his head onto its side and watched me sip my tea now it had cooled. "You have also matured during your...ordeal."

"Hn." I have nothing to say again cos I don't think calling him a bastard right now would be a good idea.

"The quality that overrides everything else about you Kurosaki Ichigo, is your sense of duty, loyalty and righteousness. The war you fought all this time was to protect. The battles you won, were not to the death, as you knew that death for your opponants was a hollow victory. All of this makes you an ideal candidate."

"Candidate?" I frowned. "For what?"

"The Central 46." He smiled, but now it was a different smile, it seemed genuine. "It will not matter that you do not like me, it will support you sense of 'rightness'. Your judgements will be fair and as you already have the respect of most of our community, your words could have a profound impact on the peace of our world... What do you say Kurosaki-kun?"

"I...I..." Really I was floored!

"If you wish to discuss this with you...life partner, and seek his approval, there is little need. It was his suggestion, seconded by Abarai and the vote was carried all bar one. But Mayuri wished to take you as a specimen which I over ruled I must add. So? Your decision?"

"If I don't say yes?"

"I will place you with the 11th. Your fighting capabilities will come in handy there."

"That isn't a threat you know. I'd actually thought that is where I would end up."

"No threat intended." He smiled and we sat in silence for a while whilst my mind whirled and tumbled.

_Hichigo? _

_**I think I will be one bored fucker!**_


End file.
